On Adderall in a five-speed

Thought I was encased in bones!--
like some Kafka-esque dream
where I fall in love with my friends
and shed off my limbs
to find a bright, shiny pair of new wings

and they were just a little too big,
but I'll grow into them
just like my shoes when I was 10
(though I'm still stubbin' my big toes)

you were breathin' fire, and you yelled my name;
EH-CAR-US!
I didn't take it as a threat--
I didn't know that story yet
and anyway,
although you weren't quite a woman,
you definitely weren't a son

Before you hopped in your car to drive down to New Orleans
you explained the rattle in my key chain,
the one that opened bottles and got me through winter,
as a place you would show me, if I ever came to visit.

sixteen and a half hours
on Adderall in a five-speed
or
a three hour flight on shiny new wings;
unclipped, if I wanted.

Thinking how I want too many things
and I'll always be let down

in New Orleans,
if i wanted to,
I guess.